I think I’m trying to find myself. It sounds so dumb when I type it out like that. But yeah, I’m trying to find myself. Throughout middle and high school, it’s okay to kind of glide by behind the curtains or the crowd or whatever metaphor you’d like to use. Then you get to college and the focus hones in on individuality, while people around me discuss spirituality and then get fucked up on the weekend. It’s about being hypocritical and nonjudgemental because literally no one knows for sure what they want to do with the rest of their lives–even the few who act like they know. I’m almost 20, which is weird. I’m not supposed to be 20. That’s a big age. I knew people who were 20 when I was little and that was old. Shit. Anyway, in my fruitless efforts to find myself, I decided I needed to get out of my house. So today or a few days ago (I lie to you all the time–don’t worry about it), I put the most recent Tape Tuesday on a CD and just drove. I’d like to say I learned a lot on my drive, but honestly, I learned nothing, aside from my love of driving and the fact that I make a damn good mixtape. This is a bit of a re-post; some of you who downloaded the tape may have already heard this song. But on my drive, this one stuck out. Sorry for the long post.
In the modern digital era we inhabit today, there are so many things going on all the time. It’s frustrating, and it’s something that affects everyone and everything–the clutter, the screens, the unanswered messages, the tweets. I think if you told God about Twitter he’d be kinda pissed, like “What the fuck is a tweet? I made you people, so you can talk to other people with your mouths!” I just think life will be difficult no matter what; why should we make it more difficult? Think about the years that could be added to your life if you stopped worrying about a girl not texting you back (after you saw the “…” of her typing) or not getting a satisfactory amount of retweets on some shit you probably should not have put on the Internet forever (hypothetical situations, of course). But really, this mixtape probably has nothing to do with what I’m saying, but it’s something I felt like I had to say.
The cover was created using a lot of pictures and edited to form a simple heart. The title is inspired by a Gomez song from back in the day.
- Darwin Deez – Chelsea’s Hotel
- The Spinto Band – Shake It Off
- Bangladesh – Lean
- Lowrider – Golden Sun
- Eden Mulholland – I Will Echo
- French Horn Rebellion – Girls (ft. JD Samson and Fat Tony)
- Darwin Deez – Redshift
- Fyfe – St. Tropez
- Dan Croll – Compliment Your Soul
- Born Ruffians – Needle
- Slow Dakota – June 4
- Homeboy Sandman – Hold Your Head
- Stroik – One More Time
- Magic Man – Paris
- MISTERWIVES – Vagabond
- Good Oak – Fill My Cup
- Whisky Winter – Heavy
‘Cause I’m not leaving, this is just the place, I’ve been homeless since the dimples on her simple face , and I’ve spent my fortune, torn this town apart to build a hotel on her heart