Straight Talk Sunday
[Straight Talk Sunday] Who I Am
I find myself starting these Straight Talk Sunday posts off with this often, and I’ve again got to say that I apologize for not making this “column” a very regular feature. I’m not sure if it’s because I haven’t felt like I’ve had enough time, or maybe it’s more that I haven’t been sitting down and thinking about an introspective piece for a little while. I’m going to go ahead and guess that it’s a mix of both. I got to thinking something today, though, and I think it’s worth sharing with all of you. It started with an e.e. cummings quote that I read today:
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
I think that as I’ve been flipping through the chapters of life, moving quickly from one to the next, I’ve forgotten to keep fighting at times. I’ve moved around a lot, met a ton of new people, and sometimes feel a bit like a chameleon, adjusting myself and my character to adapt to the atmosphere around me. Though I like to be able to say that I can fit into many different situations, I don’t ever want to pretend to be something or someone who I am not.
Though I typically am open to do so, today I don’t want to let my thoughts completely run free on the paper, partly because I’m not one hundred percent sure how to express them or what they really are. So instead, I thought I’d write a bit about who I am.
I am a sister.
I am a go-getter.
I am a writer.
I am a talker.
I am working every day on becoming a better listener.
I am a smiler.
I am a lover.
I am happy running.
I am happy sitting.
I am a home-body.
I am happy in your company.
I am happy by myself.
This is who I am. I don’t want to let you down. I wish I didn’t feel like I could.
Straight Talk Sunday: In Pursuit of the Different
I’ve been struggling a bit in the past couple weeks with the concept of maintaining this beloved blog that I’ve been running for over three years. My life seems to get crazier by the day, and juggling a full-time job, the commute to and from work every day, social gatherings, and just having time to myself here and there gets difficult. Finding time to put in blogging gets really hard, and like I said before, I don’t ever want to force anything.
I’ve thought a bit about quitting, you know…about letting go of the blog. It’s fucking sad to say, and it even makes me squirm when I type it here. This thing has been my obsession for the past three years, and to think about discontinuing it tears at my heartstrings. But I’ve just found that it’s really hard to manage with so many other things on my plate.
But today I’m here to say that I’m not giving up. Nope. Not me, not today. There are a lot of distractors, but then all of the sudden I come across something so beautiful, so different, so moving, that it reminds me once again what the point of this blog is. It reminds me why it’s WORTH taking time out of my life to maintain this blog and to share with you guys what I find to really be life-altering. It was beautiful music that got this started, and it is beautiful music that will keep it going.
Today I came across some of this music, and I’m here to share it with you guys.
I get really excited when I hear a song that sounds, for lack of a better description, a little different. Listening to so much new music every day can be tiring. A lot of it starts to sound the same, and it starts to blur in my mind a bit. What’s funny is that at times I’ll hear songs that don’t fit to a typical song structure (you know…chorus, three verses, a bridge), and I’ll immediately put it off as the works of people poorly versed in the study of music. But then some songs come along that don’t follow this structure and I praise their existence. But perhaps what’s more important than just the structure of the song is the sound of how it was put together.
A great example of this is a song off of Bowerbirds’ new album, called “In The Yard.” When I listen to this track, there are things that I hear and wonder if they intended to make it sound funny like that at times. I ask myself why it sounds a little off, or why the tempo changes so unexpectedly. And then I realize that they’re doing this completely on purpose. These guys have a mastery of the art of making music. And by doing these quirky things in their song, they’re keeping my attention the entire time. It’s creative, and by god it works. This song right here inspired this post, and it is something like this that inspires me to keep going.
MP3: “In The Yard” – Bowerbirds
Another great example of music that moved me today and reminded me why I love doing this so much is a song by Django Django called “Default.” Tell me this isn’t one of the more unique songs you’ve heard in a while. Is it electronic? Is it rock and roll? But wait. It’s folky, it’s twangy, and if it isn’t one of the catchier songs you’ve heard in a while, you might be crazy. I absolutely love it. Are these guys modern-day Fatboy Slim?
And lastly a video I received today of a live recording of The Barr Brothers performing their popular song, “Beggar in the Morning.” This one struck me as unique because of the visual experience. I can listen to a song like “Beggar in the Morning” and be mystified at the noises and the beauty of it, but it’s hard to really conceptualize what it took to put these noises together. In a session they did with KEXP, The Barr Brothers recreated the song, and we get to see all of the parts that form the whole. It’s truly beautiful, and without these visuals, I’m not sure I would have been able to appreciate this song to the same extent that I will now.
And to sum it up, thank you guys for being here to read what the Sunset Family has to say every day. If it weren’t for you guys, we’d have nothing to work for. So thank you, thank you.
Straight Talk Sunday: Finding Myself
Straight Talk Sunday Finding Myself by Sunset in the Rearview
I once tried to be something that I wasn’t.
It started with a trip I unwillingly took to a show at the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston with my mom. My boyfriend at the time was in town visiting and when my mom suggested that we go to the museum with her, it sounded like what could have been the worst idea of all time. Mom wasn’t having it. She made us go anyway. The exhibit was a collection of artwork from The Museum of Modern Art in New York while MOMA was renovating their space.
I’m pretty sure that I lost my boyfriend to a seat on a couch the second we walked in, but I decided to follow my mom and take a look around. After all, I had been dragged out there to begin with, I might as well see what all the fuss was about. I walked into a room full of Van Gogh’s, Pollock’s, Mondrian’s and I was immediately taken aback. The colors, the patterns, the feelings that came in the form of bursts of color, smooth brushes of paint, and intricate details caught not only my eye but also my emotions. All of the sudden I felt as though I could express my emotions that were so locked up in my high school body through something like this. In my mind it seemed as though modern art like this didn’t require an artistic mastery; it required a wealth of knowledge about yourself and how you can express your feelings. I had never been sure of how to express my feelings before.
Sure enough, I went back to school after that Christmas vacation and started painting. Emotions were all over the canvas. I was a high schooler who was battling a severe case of epilepsy. Boarding school didn’t necessarily agree with my lifestyle of choice. I was lost and confused and unsure of who my true friends were. I was constantly told by doctors that if I continued to take more and more pills, the seizures would somehow find a way out of my life. The pills piled up, and the seizures did too. I felt like a zombie who had to fight to keep my eyes open for more than a couple hours at a time. The medicine sucked the life out of me. And the seizures remained. Nobody understood me. Why was this happening to me, and what did it actually feel like? I’m still not sure I can tell you that. But I needed a way to get this growing pile of pain out of me.
I owe a lot to my mom for taking me to the museum that day. I was introduced to a world of people who took an alternative path to express their feelings. Tears are all too common. Even therapists didn’t quite get what I was going through. But a canvas, inviting of color, of abstractions, of tears mixed in to the paint – it was my sounding board. I created abstractions that nobody else might have understood, but that proved a point. I didn’t need to be defined simply as a kid fighting a troubling disease. I was a kid with a whole host of thoughts inside of me that could turn out to be something truly aesthetic. It didn’t need to be understood. It could be seen as something beautiful. Before this outlet, I wasn’t sure if I could be seen like that. Too much time spent on stretchers and hospital beds didn’t allow it.
At some point, I stopped making art. Before then, though, I was rewarded with a prize at my school’s graduation ceremony for my artwork. Something that came into my life without much warning had suddenly turned me into something new, something refreshed. It gave me something to be proud of. It allowed me to stand tall.
In the end, the art didn’t cure my seizures; I did. But it sure as hell helped me get to the point where I was strong enough to overcome something that was taking over my life and quickly making me feel as though I wasn’t going to make it through this battle. Painting gave me the feeling that I could stand up to my fears. Through standing up against what was quickly becoming the authority in my life, I found a way to fight.
Eventually, I fought back against the zombie-inducing medicine. I found something that worked for me. I became my own person again and found comfort in my life and in who I am as a person. Suddenly, as if by the work of a miracle, the seizures started becoming more infrequent. With each minute of my life that I gained back, I gained the strength to feel as though I was able to control my own life. The fight continued. I started to take over this imaginary battlefield. Soon enough, I won. I could hardly believe it. I fought that son of a bitch and was able to say that I came out victorious. The seizures went away. And so, too, did my art.
The great thing is that the art will always be there. It’s hanging in a room that, perhaps understandably, means a lot to me. I get flooded with emotions when I enter that room. It’s a reminder of what was, and what I overcame. It reminds me of a part of my childhood that was, quite frankly, largely taken away from me by demons that I didn’t ask for.
Something in me, though, tells me that we all have demons that we didn’t ask to fight. Mine was a medical condition, but others may have less concrete demons. In fact, though I had a somewhat concrete demon, what was less obvious was that I was trying to be a person who I wasn’t made to be. I was trying to be a person who followed all the rules and took life as it came to me. I was trying to go by the book, knowing that if I did as I was told, I would come out okay in the end. The fact is, that isn’t who I am. I’m a fighter. I’m alternative. I don’t succeed if I follow all the rules. I have my own way of living. I don’t like to imitate my life off of others who follow all the rules, despite the success that they may find. I’ve found my success by emulating the acts of the alternatives.
I owe so much to my mom, to Mondrian, to my art teacher, and hell, even to my case of epilepsy. All of these influences helped me find myself. And I look back today and am happy with where I am. Yes. I am happy and proud. It takes a lot of people a long time to find out how to say that, but I’m here to say that it is possible. I wasn’t sure of that when I was in high school, but it is. It just takes finding your path.
I want to relate this to music for a second. That’s what you’re here for anyway, right? I’ve recently discovered an artist by the name of Birdy. She’s got a voice that is unparalleled by many today. But she’s made a name for herself recently not by creating her own music that shows off her voice. She’s finding her path through echoing the masterpieces of others before her, such as Fleet Foxes, Phoenix and Bon Iver. It’s quite brilliant, really. She’s found her launchpad by paying homage to the greats who so many of us have come to know and love. She’s proven herself by showing that she can create beautiful covers of these already-magnificent songs. Soon it will be Birdy’s time to create her own path. But she’ll likely look back, as I have, to the inspirational artists who helped her find herself. I’ve included some of Birdy’s music at the bottom of this post. I know that I will be closely following her career as an artist, and I hope that you will be, too.
Lastly, I just wanted to mention that I’m not sure I’ve ever told you guys about this part of my past. Perhaps it’s because sometimes I try to forget about it. Or maybe it’s something that I wasn’t ready to share with the whole world. (Okay fine, the whole world might not be reading Sunset in the Rearview. But you guys are the world to me.) Either way, posts like these remind me that I have found a community here whom I trust enough to share my own very personal stories. It’s an alternative way to get over humps and hurdles, but as I said, I thrive on alternative paths.
But I have to thank all of you for being a catalyst for my happiness and success. I will never forget that. And I encourage any and all of you to reach out to me at any time. I heard from a fan recently who told me that he had lost his dad in the past few months. He remembered reading that I had lost my dad, and he reached out to say that the music and stories that I’ve shared helped him a lot. Things like that mean the world to me. I owe a lot to you guys, so please let me know if I can ever do anything for you. We’re in an invisible friendship that I’ll never forget. Don’t you forget that, either.
Straight Talk Sunday: I Love Hip Hop // Hip-Hop That I Love
I just started a new job last Monday, and on Thursday I was asked to introduce myself in front of the entire company. Yall. That’s like 250 people. It was terrifying, but I did it. Got up in front of a full room and said my name, where I’m from, what I like to do in my free time, and a fun fact about myself. It went a lot like this.
[Lydia walks up to the mic. She is approaching the mic to grab it from the CEO who is one of her heroes. Her knees are shaking a bit.] “Hi everybody! My name is Lydia Simmons, I’m originally from Houston. [People around the room start cheering. What up, Texans!] I moved here from Durham, North Carolina for the job. In my free time…I spend a lot of that time maintaining a music blog called Sunset in the Rearview. I really like hip hop music. [People in the room giggle a little. Most likely they're thinking 'This little girl likes hip hop music? That's weird.] Fun fact I guess would be that I lived in Kenya for a little bit and used to speak fluent Swahili. Really excited to be here!”
It was awkward and terrifying. But like I said, I did it.
The best part of it was that some people came up to me afterwards asking about my blog and what type of hip hop I like. That prompted this post, I suppose. Lately I’ve been digging up old school hip hop that I can’t help but love. The old school stuff built the platform for today’s stars to stand on, even if they don’t echo the sound. It’s an ever-growing genre, but it’s always great to see current bands sticking to those old school roots. A group that’s great at doing that is People Under The Stairs. Man, I fucking love those dudes. Pardon my language, but I just needed the oomph to emphasize how great they are. If you’re not onto them, you need to be. They recently released an album called Highlighter that is incredible. The album almost went unnoticed by me, because of the bold move by People Under The Stairs to release it independently in an effort to avoid low-quality MP3s being released. They worked really hard to release a high quality album: from hand-printed and packaged physical album artwork and only selling digital versions on their site at very large file sizes, People Under The Stairs went to extreme measures to maintain the quality of their sounds, at the risk of losing money. It’s great to see that they’re not all about the profits, as you rarely see that from professionals anymore. The good thing for us was that the music itself was quality, too. Some of their beats sample rock songs from my childhood (think Red Hot Chili Peppers), which only enhances the experience. Like hip hop that reflects on old school flows and is set to incredible, full-sound instrumentals? Highlighter is the album for you.
Now here I am being a douchebag and giving yall an MP3 of one of the songs – but I only intend for this to get you to fall in love and buy the album. Seriously. You need to.
“Selfish Destruction” – People Under The Stairs
“Selfish Destruction” – People Under The Stairs by Sunset in the Rearview
So many people ask me how I can stand hip-hop or “rap music.” The thing is, most of the hip hop that I love will never be played on the radio. And I have a love/hate relationship with that fact. I love it because, well, partly because I’m a music snob these days (I’ve admitted to it and I’m okay with it) and I like having some sort of ownership of what I listen to. But I love it mainly because it means that the songs will remain respectable and not overplayed; songs that make it to the radio quickly get overplayed to death and become resented by many. (Read: “Pumped Up Kicks.”) But I hate it because it’s sad that the radio is in such poor state. It makes sense, financially (with the cost of radio streams and all that), but it doesn’t make sense morally. The artist who work their asses off to create great music don’t get the same type of money that the artists who are represented by major labels do. But whatever, it is what it is, and I’m not about to say I have the recipe for changing the system. So I blog instead.
To get more into what type of hip-hop it is that I love, though, I think it’s easiest to say that I love hip-hop that’s easy to listen to. I like melodic hip-hop. I love lyrical wordplay. I love an artist who is conscious of their surroundings. I love hip-hop that could easily be an indie-rock song if the person was singing instead of rapping. I love hip-hop that gets you moving. I love hip-hop that’s played witha full band. That’s about it. Not much more to say other than I love it. With all of my heart. Hip-hop is part of me. It always will be. Even when I’m a grandmother, I think I’ll still love it. Maybe not what the kids will be listening to then, but I’ll still have a love for hip-hop that I grew up loving. Something about that tells me that I might be the coolest grandmother EVER, and I’m cool with that.
Here are a few more new songs that embody all that I love about hip-hop. Press play on “8-Bit Kid” and tell me that couldn’t be an electronic song on its own.
“The Walk (Bonus)” – QuESt (ft. Mt. Eden)
The Walk (Bonus) – QuESt by Sunset in the Rearview
MP3: “8-Bit Kid” – LiLa
Straight Talk Sunday: Westward Bound!
I owe a lot to a friend right now. Suffice it to say, she lit the fire under my ass that has gotten me to where I am today. Sunday, October 30th.
Over dinner one night, in a dimly lit room at a table for two, I started to take a bite to eat and then was hit with a question that only a best friend can ask without getting a look in return of ‘Really? Right before I’m about to take a big bite of food?’ There it was. The inevitable yet daunting bomb. ‘Lydia…what do you want to do in your life?’
I looked up from the plate of food and full glass of wine and saw that she was serious. She really wanted to know exactly what I want to do with my life and how I’m going to achieve my goals. The only problem was…that question is nearly an impossible one to answer. Straight talk? It’d be really awesome to be a full-time blogger. I really love running this blog. But in reality, I don’t think that’s going to happen. Looking back on the night, it’s hard to recall exactly what my answer was, because I had probably already had too many glasses of wine. But I’m willing to bet that I said something like “I want to be part of something awe-inspiring. I want it to revolve around technology and digital media, and I want to be part of the decision-making process that people eventually look back on and say ‘Damn. I wish I could have been part of that.’” Though it took me a couple minutes to formulate my answer, she was a true friend and gave me my time to think of what I wanted to say. And when I started talking, she was listening. Not just hearing the words, but believing in the words. When I finished speaking, she kept her focus on me and said ‘Well, how are you going to do that?’
Those words, in retrospect, sound quite disheartening. ‘I…uh…um…I guess by…’ Yeah. I don’t know. But you know a best friend has crossed your path when they’re willing to sit there and brainstorm how to help you reach those dreams. So we sat, and we talked, and I left dinner feeling like I was superwoman. She gave me the confidence in myself that made me believe that I’m young, I’m capable, I’m motivated, and I need to work to make this happen.
Today, a month or two later, I’ve found myself standing at the gate of a whole new world. After that dinner, I started out on a journey to find a new job that would lead me to the future that I’ve imagined for myself. I realized, when talking about what I wanted to do, that Raleigh-Durham wasn’t the right place for me. Though I absolutely love Durham with all of my heart, it isn’t a place where I can see my career flourishing. I realized that I need to be in San Francisco. So, I had to take some time away from the blog, as I would go to work all day and then come home and continue my search for jobs. I applied to many, and miraculously heard back from a few that I was very interested in. I took a weekend trip out to San Francisco for final interviews, and came home with a new job, a new apartment, and a new sense of excitement for my career.
MP3: “San Francisco” (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair) – Scott McKenzie
It took a lot of courage for me to quit my current job. The friends I have made there are some who I believe will forever be a part of my life, but I found myself needing a directional change and a fresh start. And, like I mentioned, Raleigh isn’t quite the hotbed that San Francisco is. But I did it. I put in my two weeks’ notice and came to terms with the fact that the life I have been living here for the past six years would be changing drastically in just a few weeks. There were times when I doubted whether I was making the right decision. I felt as though I didn’t have anybody to turn to, at times. Typically, I would have asked my dad for advice and if I was jumping the gun. It broke my heart that he wasn’t there to answer my questions. But as funny as this may sound, I would wake up with a sense of encouragement, which led me to believe that my dad was letting me know while I slept that I was doing the right thing.
So the scoop! I have accepted an offer at Wildfire Interactive, where I will be working as a Social Media Account Manager. I cannot wait to start work, and that’s really saying something for somebody who HATES early mornings. Especially because I’m fully aware that I’ll have an hour long commute to Silicon Valley in the mornings. But the energy, the dynamic culture, the knowledge that radiated off of the walls when I stepped into their offices…that right there is what I was telling my friend that I wanted to be a part of that night at dinner. And sure enough, I made it.
On top of all of this excitement, I couldn’t be more pleased to say that I’ll be living within walking distance of two of my sisters. AND, one of them is having a baby in just a few weeks. For those of you who are avid readers of my Straight Talk Sundays, you’ll know that this is a great thing for my family. New life. My dad would be so happy. So there it is. I’m doing it. And I couldn’t be more excited. Oh, and I’ll be sure to wear some flowers in my hair.
Straight talk: You can do it.
The journey starts, beneath the stars, I stand alone. I put all my fears to all these years swept away to know.
Theophilus London – “I Stand Alone” by TheophilusLondon
Straight Talk: Living in the Moment with an Ear for the Past
I went to a bar last night and immediately fell in love with the DJ. (You probably heard enough about this last night if you follow me on Twitter.) His entire set consisted of songs that threw me into an altered state of nostalgia and extreme happiness. I’m talking Biggie, Tupac, Ice Cube, Skee Lo, Biz Markie, Tribe … he had it all. It was an interesting situation where I didn’t want any songs to end, because I was having so much fun jamming and remembering other times when these songs were prevalent in my life, but at the same time, I couldn’t wait to hear what he would play next. Essentially, I never wanted the night to end. Talk about a successful job as a DJ!
All of this got me to thinking about music, memories, and how the two come to be. We all know the feeling of hearing a song and being blasted into our pasts, immediately remembering where we were, who we were with, and the atmosphere of the time that was. But the part of memories through music that doesn’t seem to be talked about is the moment in which the memories are created. Can you know in the moment that you will forever think of that event whenever you heard the song that was playing?
It made me wonder, as I was listening to these classic hip hop songs that remind me of middle school, high school, college, or even more recent times as I’ve taken a trip through old school hip hop, whether the original memories would remain, or if this epic night that I had last night would overcome the past times and be the night I would remember when I heard the new songs. It made me think that yes, you can know in the moment that a memory is being formed, but you have to be conscious of the situation.
The moral of the story, or what I walked away with last night, was that it’s an incredible feeling to be able to live in the moment. Build on the past and prepare for the future, but right then and there, you should be reveling in your surroundings. Soak the sound in and let your brain soak the memories in, but allow yourself to have the time of your life. Because you never know (or maybe you do!), you may hear this song in the future and be blasted back to last night. Do yourself a favor and let it leave an incredible mark on your timeline.
…And while you’re at it, be sure to make the soundtrack a good one. To help you do this, I’m putting together a Spotify playlist of Old School Hip Hop classics that bring me back to the good ole days (and last night!). What I need for YOU to do is comment on this post and let me know what songs need to be added to the list. I’ll then go and add them, and you can subscribe to an ever-growing playlist that can be your go-to memory-building playlist. Fun part of it is, we’ll all be building our own memories to the same set of songs. And there we have it. Boom goes the dynamite.
SUBSCRIBE TO THE PLAYLIST ON SPOTIFY
Sample Songs:
MP3: “California Love” – Tupac
MP3: “Feel Me Flow” – Naughty By Nature
MP3: “Just a Friend” – Biz Markie
MP3: “Work” – Gang Starr
MP3: “Jump” – Kris Kross
Straight Talk Sunday: Why the hell do I like music so much?
Precursor: These Straight Talk Sunday posts don’t come every Sunday, because frankly, I don’t always have something even remotely profound to say. But today I had something to say, damnit, and I wanted to say it so badly that I actually did…say it. I’ve recorded myself reading my Straight Talk Sunday using the ever-so-wonderful SoundCloud app, and I don’t know if I’ll keep doing this or not, because I don’t really like the sound of my own voice, but hell, today I don’t really care. This is Straight Talk…and it’s spoken. For those who care not to listen, or perhaps for the hard of hearing, I’ve typed it out below. For those listening, pardon my mispronunciations or stutters. I have a cold. And I’m nervous, okay? I don’t know yall like that yet.
Straight Talk Sunday: Why the hell do I like music so much? by Sunset in the Rearview
Sometimes when I sit by myself with headphones in, jamming out or slowly bobbing my head to some music I’m really feeling that particular day, I ask myself what the hell it is with me and this music business. What do I like about it so much? What’s to like? It’s just sound…no? Sure, some bands put noises together that sound good. Yeah, okay, other bands write really poetic lyrics. But in the end, isn’t it just noise?
Well, the answer hadn’t come to me until I found myself at a concert the other night. I was right up at the corner of the stage and in total awe of the music coming from the four men who call themselves The Antlers. If you’re at all a fan of this band, you likely know that their 2009 album, Hospice, is an incredibly sad and dark album allegedly about an abusive relationship but told through the analogy of a Hospice worker and a terminally-ill patient. That album, through its dark nature and incredibly telling lyrics, pulled in fans of all sorts, most of whom likely found themselves in a comfortable nook in the middle of an uncomfortable situation. The next album from The Antlers, 2011′s Burst Apart, was lighter than its predecessor, this time showcasing some strength in retaliation. The breakthrough song, in my opinion, is the opening track, “I Don’t Want Love.” In it, frontman Peter Silberman sings “If I leave before you, And I walk out alone, Keep your hands to yourself, When you follow me home, I don’t want love.”
As they began to play this song at the bar the other night, the crowd started rejoicing. One person in particular stood out to me. He was a young man in the front row, I’d imagine in his later teen years, and between songs he looked like any young fan. Curious, somewhat excited, but pretty much blending into the crowd. As soon as “I Don’t Want Love” started, though, this boy became my answer to why I like music so much. He burst out into interpretive dance moves, his whole body reverberating alongside the guitar and vocals, slamming his head down with the hard note changes and slowly pulling it back up with his eyes closed as other notes soared. His arms were almost directing the music itself. He was lip-syncing the lyrics the entire time, or perhaps he was belting them out alongside Silberman, I’m not quite sure. But every single word that came out of Silberman’s mouth, I knew right then and there, was affecting this young man. With the emotion coming through his dance moves, I knew that this boy had experienced something deep or dark and The Antlers were his coping mechanism. How did I know? Because when the song ended, and the cheering finally stopped, I heard him mutter to the band, “thank you.” It wasn’t loud enough for the band to hear, but there it was. It was clear to me that The Antlers, through their representation of love lost, remorse, pain, fear, release…all of the emotions that come out in their music, were able to heal this young man at some point.
To be straight with y’all, I’m going through a really fucking tough time right now. It seems that with every day that comes, a new boulder gets laid in my path, as though I’m being challenged to find my way. I’ve typically been one to think ‘with every day comes a new opportunity,’ and am excited to seize the day, but lately it’s just been overbearing. Too many things, far too often, are stumbling blocks rather than stepping stones. At times I want to just hang my head and cry, but as soon as I say that, I think of a song that I love. A song that actually says in it, “so I hung my head and I cried.” It’s a song that my Dad taught me as a little girl. After losing my Dad just over a year ago, I carry this song particularly close to heart. And at this point in time, there are other songs that I’m keeping close. Songs that are able to get me through. Songs that get me, that remind me that others, too, have seen dark days. One day it’s Kid Cudi getting me through, today it seems to be The Antlers.
So through it all, I’ve found my answer. I love music because it is reflective. It’s artful. My god, its powerful. And direct. It has the ability to connect people who may never meet, but they can be together emotionally through words and sounds. It’s gotten me through good times and bad, and these days it’s carrying me through to the next. Straight talk: music aint just noise, it’s a way of being.
This is Lydia; I represent Sunset in the Rearview. Signing out.
Bon Iver – Beth/Rest (Acoustic Piano Version) [Staight Talk Sunday]
Justin Vernon of Bon Iver performed for an NPR recording recently, and as usual, he surprised the crowd with a stripped down version of the controversial closing track on his latest album, Bon Iver. Typically he performs a cover at live recordings, but perhaps Vernon felt he had something to prove about this song that got knocked for its 80′s sound that didn’t match the rest of the album.
Hearing this version almost makes me cry. The beautiful piano playing throughout the song reminds me of being home at Christmastime. The once-upbeat track suddenly becomes nostalgic and almost too close to home for me to keep my emotions in line. It’s like a soundtrack to my every day struggles without my Dad in my everyday life. When I close my eyes, I see images of our past together. I see my Dad with his face covered in shaving cream, pretending to be Santa Claus, ‘Ho-Ho-Ho-ing’ to his little girl in a red jumper and matching bow in her hair. I see him sitting on a bench facing a beautiful scenery, taking the time to soak in his surroundings and put them on paper with his watercolor set. I see my Dad climbing to the top of the ladder to place the star atop the Christmas tree. I smell the coffee that was already brewing as I crawled out of bed in the morning to put my uniform on for school. I hear the creaks of his desk chair in his office that he spent countless hours working in. I see my Dad standing at the marimba, happily percussing on the instrument oft-unknown to the general public. I hear my Dad whispering to me that he loves me, and though he isn’t right there, he’s everywhere.
This has been a long journey, but coming across songs like these brings realizations to mind; as Justin sings, “I aint livin in the dark no more.” I don’t know many of you, though somehow I feel we know each other. I put a lot of myself and my emotions on the table, but I think it mirrors what artists do every day by releasing songs like this. Justin Vernon is known for his ability to pour his whole heart into a song, which is what caught my attention first when I heard his music, so I appreciate that it’s not only good listening, but it’s enabling me to let out my thoughts and emotions as well. Thank you guys for listening, too. I apologize for this post being one day late, but when I heard the song, I knew I had something meaningful to say, so damn the day, this is straight talk.
Bon Iver – Beth/Rest (Solo Piano at World Cafe) by pmwtumblr
[PMA]
Spotify: Failing in the US and amongst indie labels?
After my initial article about how Spotify will affect the music industry, I feel it’s time to follow up after giving the Swedish start-up a chance to settle in the United States. There have been articles popping up on the Internet claiming that Spotify isn’t going to be successful in the United States, and that already, Spotify is struggling to convert their services into revenue. Journalists and critics are claiming that American listeners are too accustomed to free music at this point, deeming Spotify and its subscription-based revenue plan a failure from the get-go.
Slooooowwwww doooooowwwwwnnnnn, critics. In my opinion, what people are failing to recognize is that Spotify is still allowing its US users unlimited streaming. That means no cap on how much music you can listen to for free. This is a brilliant approach on their end because it allows U.S. users to experience all that Spotify can be, but at some point they will retract some of the free rights and people will be left itching to pay for service to regain access to what they once had. I’m sure there will be some stingy people unwilling to pay, but frankly, it will be their loss when they get a pop up telling them they’ve reached their maximum streams for the month.
Others are complaining about Spotify’s inability to create any substantial revenue for artists. In response to an angry call-out from a record label who claimed that Spotify wasn’t able to pay the labels and artists, Spotify said the following:
Spotify was launched out of a desire to develop a better, more convenient and legal alternative to music piracy. Spotify now monetises an audience the large majority of whom were downloading illegally (and therefore not making any money for the industry) before Spotify was available.
Spotify is now generating serious revenues for rights holders; since our launch just three years ago, we have paid over $100 million to labels and publishers, who, in turn, pass this on to the artists, composers and authors they represent. Indeed, a top Swedish music executive was recently quoted as saying that Spotify is currently the biggest single revenue source for the music industry in Scandinavia.
Spotify is now also the second single largest source of digital music revenue for labels in Europe (IFPI, Apr 2011). Billboard reported in April that Spotify territories saw an average digital growth rate of 43% last year. By contrast, neighbouring countries (without Spotify) saw only 9.3% digital growth.
$100 million is surely a lot more than artists are seeing when people are illegally downloading their music from sites like Mediafire, Hulkshare, Box.net and the like. People are not buying physical copies anymore (with the exception of vinyl, which may just be a trend.) They’re either illegally downloading, buying digitally, or they’re simply streaming. That leaves artists and labels with the ability to make money via online sales and through live performances and merchandise sales. With online sales in jeopardy due to the high rate of illegal downloads, artists need to give Spotify’s mission to pay per stream a chance. This is a huge opportunity for artists, but they need to be patient. Something tells me that when U.S. users with free accounts are limited to the normal streaming limit that comes with a free account, Spotify will see a significant jump in their revenues and their payout to artists may increase. As their revenues increase, their advertising prices will likely increase, bringing more money and possibilities to both the company and the labels/artists.
Just a few days ago, an artist wrote an article about receiving their Spotify royalties, claiming to be “A-mazed: the rates were between 0.88 and 0.73 cents per play.” They continued, “We’re actually approaching a sustainable per-play rate here: at a median rate of 0.8 cents per play, or so, the sale-to-stream income ratio is around 1:88 – 88 streams of a track from a single user would generate income comparable to a single sale of that track.” At first glance, that may sound like an unreachable goal, but when you stop to think about how many users are on Spotify and the scalability included with sharing playlists among friends, songs can quickly become “hot” streams. Just like that…a song gets high streaming rates, and the artist finds money in their pocket. Just by sitting idly and letting their music do its thing, as it used to go in the record stores.
As I said, the critics need to slow down and give Spotify a chance to breathe and grow on this side of the pond. It’s already changing the way that listeners view music ownership, allowing artists an alternative to the continually dwindling revenue resources, and in my mind, is well on its way to saving the music industry. Just wait.
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And to end it with some tunes, here is a song I’m digging today.
Straight Talk Sunday: My Progression Through Music
As I was driving home from work on Friday and getting giddy about the Bon Iver concert on my schedule for the evening, I had this feeling of nostalgia. It came rushing through me and at first I wasn’t able to pinpoint the memories, but as time passed, I understood. Straight talk: This Bon Iver concert was equivalent today to the Coldplay concert I went to see during orientation of my freshman year of college.
Needless to say, it was a shocking realization. Coldplay? The band that everybody is ashamed to like? The band that’s the kicker for that offensive “You know how I know you’re gay?” joke? One of the more cliche bands of the past decade? Yep, Coldplay. God, am I offending Bon Iver by putting this in writing?
My answer is no. I’m not. Because frankly, I’m not ashamed of liking Coldplay. Sure, I used to like their music a lot more than I do now, but those songs bring back incredible memories. That music was groundbreaking when it came out. The musical talents of Chris Martin and his bandmates was something that just about everybody could aspire to. The truth behind their music was something that people seemed to be able to relate to, and that resulted in something I like to think of as a ‘suction effect’ – people clung to that solidity and hung on with all their might.
Similarly, today, Bon Iver is creating groundbreaking music that emanates beauty and relatability. How many of you Bon Iver lovers have suffered heartbreak? My guess is a lot of you. How many of you are stunned by the quality of music that Bon Iver is creating? Again, I guess the numbers are high.
The concerts were somewhat similar in that I went with one of my best friends, sat on a blanket in the lawn and just let myself relax. Most concerts I attend these days, I try to get to the front row so I can capture a photograph or two worth posting on Sunset (though I admit my skills are rather weak) and I ferociously take notes so I can remember the small things that make a concert so enjoyable. This concert, like the Coldplay concert back in 2005, was different. I let myself lay down and simply appreciate the music. Sure, there were times when I couldn’t help but get up and use my lame dance moves to enforce my excitement, but for the most part, it was a release rather than a task.
The realization I made through all of this is that though my musical tastes have shifted quite significantly (toward the indie scene), the reason at the core of it all is the same: I appreciate music that I can feel. What’s most: I appreciate beautiful music that allows for an experience that makes you wonder how it’s possible to create something so mind-blowing.
That right there is something that I love about music. I’ll never let go of that.
Straight Talk Sunday: How Spotify Will Affect The Music Industry
I’ve been asked by several people recently to share my thoughts on how Spotify will change the music industry. This right here is straight talk. My opinion on the state of the music industry and what Swedish-based technology platform Spotify will do for you, me, the artists, and the industry as a whole.
When Spotify was brought to the United States on July 14th, people suddenly realized that the times they were a-changin’.
Spotify is a Swedish-based music streaming service that allows users to stream entire songs (compared to the short clip that iTunes allows) from a range of major and independent record labels including Sony, EMI, Warner, and Universal. For free. Yes, you read that correctly. For free, you can listen to entire albums (with just a few advertisements thrown in there to break up your seamless experience). For a small fee, you can have an ad-free experience and have added features that include higher bitrate streams and offline access to music. If you purchase a Premium account, you can access Spotify and all of your playlists on your cell phone.
Spotify’s collection currently holds about 15 million tracks, but that number is said to be growing by around 10,000 tracks per day. And this is legal, because the labels have agreed to give Spotify rights to their artists’ music. Some labels and artists have not agreed to be added to Spotify yet, but something tells me that as soon as they see the number of Spotify users and really let that sink in, they’ll quickly be begging to be added to the database.
So you get free music. That’s cool. But what’s the catch? Where’s the stickiness? Ah, yes. In the playlists. Using Spotify, users can set up playlists that they can then share with other Spotify users. Want to see if your friend Joe has any public playlists? Simple! Connect to your Facebook account and you’ll then have a right rail that shows your Facebook friends who are using Spotify. By clicking on Joe’s name, you can then see his playlists that he’s published. Heck, you can even make a playlist WITH Joe that both of you can edit. And once you’re done, simply drag your playlist link into an email, an instant message, a tweet – whatever you want! People can then click on that link and the playlist will automatically be downloaded into their Spotify.
This all seems too good to be true, right? Well, in part, it is. This whole unlimited access to streaming music for free is going to be, well…limited. In short time, U.S. users will get a more realistic taste of Spotify, as those with free accounts will soon be limited to 20 hours per month of free streaming. Brilliant marketing plan by Spotify, if you ask me. Give users a taste of what they can do (for the most part) with a Premium account, make them think this is the best thing ever, and as soon as they’re about to explode confetti out of their ears from excitement, introduce a cap, or make them pay to avoid the cap.
So how does this affect the music industry? Well, right off the bat it would seem as though the labels have reached their doomsday, no? That’s what I would guess, since people have access to full streams of songs without having to pay a penny. However, Spotify has created a concept that nobody seemed to understand until this point. They are trying to change the focus and success of the music industry from ownership of music to streaming of music. Yes, that’s right. Streaming music will be the revenue driver.
In October 2010, Wired reported that Spotify was making more money for labels in Sweden than any other retailer, on or offline. How? Spotify’s financial set up seems to give a minimum to artists based on stream count, which might actually be more profitable for artists than the current system, since so many people are illegally downloading music off the internet and from torrents. If Spotify is playing fair and actually paying these artists on stream count (there have been complaints that smaller, independent artists haven’t been receiving the same treatment that major labels are), artists will (finally!) once again be paid for having their music heard, which hasn’t seemed to be the case for several years.
That’s a major change. For years, the music industry in the U.S. has depended on people buying albums and going to concerts. In 2010, nearly 80% of the labels’ $2 billion in digital revenue in the U.S. came from sales of records and singles. Translation? Sales on iTunes. Sweden, on the other hand, and where Spotify originated, saw in 2010 that album and track sales only accounted for 20% of the $38 million in digital revenue. Sixty percent of that revenue came from…yep, you guessed it…streaming.
Personally, I haven’t yet fallen totally in love with Spotify. I’m still unversed on how to control my privacy, which is a big barrier between my heart and Spotify. There are some playlists that I just don’t want to share with people. I’m still unsure how to privatize some of my playlists, but I’m sure that is something I’ll figure out pretty quickly. Another barrier: I am an iTunes addict. Yes, I am a slave to Steve Jobs’s money-sucking system. I suppose I’m being an old fart who clings to familiarity, but it’s true – I’m familiar with iTunes and I love it’s layout, it’s look and feel, and its simple user-interface. Seeing something new and different is a bit shocking. But as with most things, I’m sure I’ll suck it up and get used to it and soon be drooling over Spotify, just like everybody else seems to be.
What I have been leaning on Spotify for so far is streaming brand new albums. It’s been great to be able to listen to an album in full before purchasing it. As a music blogger, I’m expected to listen to new albums as they come out. That typically means that (so long as I haven’t been given a free copy by the artist or the label) I have to purchase tons of new albums every Tuesday. Somewhere in there, I think people forgot that I’m young and poor. Everybody except Spotify founder Daniel Ek, who has introduced the concept of paying $9.99 a month for unlimited access to streaming just about anything I want. That right there, Mr. Ek, is brilliant. You keep doing your thing, and I’m sure, in due time, I’ll be ooh-ing and ahh-ing and wanting to kiss your feet just as much as everybody else in the world seems to be right now.
MP3: “The Times They Are A-Changin’” – Bob Dylan
Why Is Kid Cudi So Popular? And What Is Frat Rap?
[Straight Talk Sunday]
I got an email yesterday from a fan of Sunset who caught a Kid Cudi concert in New Jersey last week. According to this fan, Cudi “absolutely killed it.” Before playing one of his most popular songs, “Pursuit of Happiness,” Cudi gave a speech to the fans where he opened up his heart and poured out his emotions. The email to me said that “for the five or so minutes he spoke, my faith in music and Cudi, both as a musician and a person, was brought to new heights.” It seems, from my YouTube searching, that Cudder has been giving these speeches at multiple shows during his tour, though each one is unique. This video clip that I’ve included isn’t the exact one that the Sunset fan saw, but it’s a full clip and speaks wonders to who Cudi is and what I have to say today.As I think about music that I like and what I find to be “sustainable” music, I find big differences between the two categories. Music I like can include hip hop, indie, folk, most prominently, but certainly other genres as well. Music that I find sustainable, though, seems to leave out a big chunk of hip hop music today. Some days I listen to hip hop music and wonder – ‘hmm…have all of the topics to speak on been written about already? Are people out of ideas?’ But after thinking about it for the past few weeks, I’ve come to the conclusion that that’s not what it is. That’s not the root of the problem.
The problem is that the barrier into the rap game has disappeared. Today, it seems anybody can be a rapper. It’s as though society is saying, ‘If you took a poetry class when you were younger, try your hand at rap!’ And the problem is, music blogs are allowing this culture. What some people call “Frat Rap,” others call “Music Blog Rap.” I try to shy away from posting a lot of this music because, to me, it isn’t good music. It’s not sustainable. What I mean by that is that though the music can often times have good production or a fun beat, if you take a second to listen to the lyrics, there’s nothing there. Is it anything more than rhymes? Is it conceptual? Is there a meaning to the song? Or is it just rhyming for rhyming’s sake?
Too many times, in the music I’m being sent, it’s just rhyming for rhyming’s sake. It’s so and so saying “I’m the shit. I’m so dope. I’m taking over the world.” and making it rhyme at the end of each line. A problem I have with this is that these people are simply talking about themselves in an arrogant fashion for 16 bars three times in a song. Sure, that might be the “cool” thing to do, but it’s not sustainable. Ask yourself, the next time you fall in love with a song like that, if you’ll still be listening to it in a couple years. If you will be, then yeah, it’s sustainable for you. If not, it’s going to fade away. It will disappear. Probably, with the way we live our lives today, the song will be forgotten in about a month. It’ll get a few plays in your iTunes, maybe mostly on Friday and Saturday nights, and then will get lost in your music library.
So what does that mean? Have I lost all faith in hip hop music? That could seem to be the case, but it’s not. The reason I opened this post with the Kid Cudi mention is because Kid Cudi is a very relevant comparison to bring up. Why is Kid Cudi so popular? He talks about himself in most of his songs, which is what I’m accusing these other, unsustainable, untalented rappers of doing, right? Here’s the difference:
Kid Cudi talks about himself in the most honest of ways.
MP3: “Soundtrack 2 My Life” – Kid Cudi
Cudder shares his life stories. He admits to defeat, whereas the rappers I’m criticizing (often times “frat rappers”) tend to send out the message that they’re immune to defeat. That they are, essentially, invincible. The honesty that Kid Cudi lets out for his fans is something that a lot of us can not only relate to, but we cling to. We get excited when he shares his personal stories, because it makes us feel okay, and perhaps it empowers us. Here’s a guy who’s world famous for being a rapper, and he’s saying that he’s lonely? So that must mean it’s okay to be lonely. It’s okay to feel like a failure sometimes. It’s okay to have issues inside your head. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to feel like you’re living on the dark side of the moon. Or in a cocoon. He speaks to so many people and it feels so real. I’m not getting that feeling from the majority of the other artists who are crossing my radar these days. Not even in the slightest.
So I guess your conclusion at this point could be, ‘okay…she likes Kid Cudi. She made that clear years ago.’ But it’s not just Kid Cudi. There are other artists out there who are reminding me why I love hip hop so much. But unfortunately, there are more artists coming my way who are reminding me why I can hate hip hop so much at times. I wish there was some way I could put my hand out and tell people NOT to try rapping if they don’t have something real to say. Mixtapes aren’t supposed to be just a clump of music that you stick together and give away for free. Albums aren’t either. They’re supposed to have a theme – a message – that ties all the songs together. If you don’t have a story to tell or a story to write about, don’t write at all. If you aren’t able to come up with something conceptual, or something honest, maybe your ability as a lyricist isn’t quite there. Being a rapper isn’t just about rhyming. It’s about being a writer.
So here it is. The straight talk bottom line. I’m sick of people making themselves out to be heroes when they’re not. I’m so ready for “artists” to stop pretending they’re taking over the world. I’m desperate for more music where artists are honest with their fans. I’m itching for music that means something. I’m begging for sustainable hip hop. I’m hoping for the emergence of more Kid Cudis – artists who allow fans to find faith in music.
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Check the video of Kid Cudi pouring his heart out to his fans. In the toughest of times, he’s thanking his fans for getting him through it all.
