27 March 2011

Straight Talk Sunday: I Hate Goodbyes

posted by: Lydia Daily Specials | Straight Talk Sunday

Straight Talk SundayI sometimes have a hard time telling people about myself, because frankly, I don’t always take note of the things that I do and don’t like in life. If something happens and I don’t like it, I can tell you that right then. But when asked to immediately think of the things that characterize me as a person, it’s hard for me to throw answers back right away. One thing that has stuck with me forever, though, is that I hate goodbyes. Hate is one of those words that I try not to use very often, obviously because it’s a really strong word, but also because to me it’s lasting; it’s permanent. If you hate something, chances are you’ll never like it again. Well, goodbyes are deserving of the word hate in my book. They’re never fun, they’re never easy, and I’ve never been able to say I enjoy saying goodbye to something.

When I was in high school, I dreaded graduation. I had no foresight of what I had to look forward to; all I had was the comfort of my friends and a fleeting experience with an end rapidly approaching. There was a class offered that was something along the lines of Documentary Photography. Students were given the assignment at the end of the course to put together a video that captured some theme that they wanted to represent. Upon completion of their videos, there was a presentation ceremony where all the videos were shown and whoever wanted to could come. Typically these ceremonies brought together a large chunk of the campus because everybody wanted to see what people had come up with. Many videos showcased pointless humor (silly music videos that revolved around humorous dancing), others showed a more serious perspective on life.

There was one video that really struck me when I was a senior. It was footage of captured moments of all of the seniors put together in an artful way that expressed the personality of every single person in the small senior class. Best of all? It was set to the song “Closing Time” by Semisonic. If I remember correctly, the part about me had a video of me dancing in the senior section of the student lounge, part in fast forward, part in reverse…embodying my carefree spirit and my love of life. It really blew me away that the videographer was able to pin down everybody’s personalities so accurately. Like I said before, I have a hard time describing myself in words, but she was easily able to do that for me just by capturing a short snippet of me on camera. It was artful, sweet, and nearly made me cry my eyes out.

High school was tough for me. I didn’t always excel at what I did, though I was raised to believe that I had the potential to always do so. I didn’t always get along with everybody, though at every other point in my life I had proved to myself that I could. I didn’t always enjoy myself, though I had made it my motto to always attempt to. I was thrown out of whack in high school, and I’m sure many of you might have experienced a similar feeling. Life threw me lemons, but when I was able to take a step back and watch this video that captured who all of us were when you took away the pettiness, it seemed I had been handed a glass of lemonade.

Saying goodbye to what was at times a rocky path, and other times an incredible growing experience with great people, was really hard for me. The song “Closing Time” became a theme song. “Closing time / Open all the doors and let you out into the world” – what could be a more perfect way to sum up graduating from high school? When I hear the song today, I immediately get that feeling in my stomach again – the misery of having to say goodbye to four years of growth and wonderful friends.

What’s the silver lining? That goodbyes lead to new hellos. There’s always a light ahead of you – you just have to remember that in the moment. “Closing Time” is a great song, but to this day it’s hard for me to listen to. Luckily, The Five One has given me a new way to look at the song. It’s a new hello to a goodbye that still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Wait for the end, when you hear children singing the chorus, and tell me your heart doesn’t feel a little bit warmer. Goodbye sadness related to “Closing Time,” hello new perspective. Goodbye high school, hello college. Goodbye temporarily, old friends, hello new friends. Straight Talk: I hate goodbyes, but I’ll be okay as long as I remember that  there’s something exciting around the corner.

“Closing Time” – The Five One


Straight Talk Sunday is a weekly feature that show a true representation of who I (Lydia) am. They showcase what’s on my mind or a topic that I feel like talking about. Total transparency. Read more Straight Talk Sundays

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sunset in the rearview